( Cut for spoilers )

tl;dr: just because someone is 'the' bad guy doesn't mean he's 'a' bad guy.

Bisexuality is not a unicorn. It's real, documented, and not all that uncommon of an occurrence. So when a male character that admits to liking girls starts liking a boy too he doesn't have to choose a side and be either straight or gay. He can be bi. No really. I'm serious.

Comparing someone's ass to globes makes me think of Zeus, not romance.

Challenges i thought of but could not write because my gramer and spelling sucks.

I...you...wha...*twitch* gnrk...

NO. BAD AUTHOR(?). VERY BAD. NO COOKIE.

brb, having an aneurysm.




...ironically, there are only twothree (ETA: I can totes count :B) things wrong with that sentence.

...but that doesn't make calling somebody your "butt salve" any less hilarious.

On my hunt for decent fic for my fandom, I came across one with an interesting summary. Now, I don't mind reading rape by this author, since they write it and the reactions well. What I did mind was the "warning" before the actual story.

"WARNING: This is the FF I actually gave Közi when he was playing with Haru(hiko)
At the 'Autumn Gothic Nights III' in Rostock in 2003...
I really don't know what came over me then... I guess my sickness got the better of me...
I am so glad that he is not able to understand english...
I guess I would have been dead by now (although he was glaring at me the next time we saw each other... could have been my imagination though...)

I hope you like it though ^^
I guess I just love Rape FFs..."

Just.... NO!

*unplugs computer and runs*

"Give me your hand, you were bleeding early.”



You weren't supposed to start bleeding until later!


EDIT: (still from same fic)

Watanuki gasped and arched his back, crawling at Doumeki’s shoulders


Is Doumeki really, really big, or is Watanuki really, really small?


He grabbed his hands around Watanuki’s thigh

I'm picturing a cheerleading stance here, like he's holding on to Watanuki who's on top of a pyramid.

Criminal Minds is one of those fandoms where slash fic is kinda rare. Hotch-centric slash fic is as rare as rocking-horse poop, so I take what I can get.

However...

I can possibly, just about (but not really) cope with Aaron Hotchner calling Spencer Reid "Spencey" *cringes*

But a critically wounded Hotch using his own blood to write 'Darling Spence, I love you so much'?? Just....O_o

He dipped his finger in the blood again. I need you to know this, Babe.


'I am sorry I didn't make it. I will love you always. Please Sweetheart, be happy. I don't want to leave you...'

Seriously....WTF? What's next? Is he going to start dipping his finger into his gaping wound to finish that novel he's been working on? Or maybe to write the case report? Or "Dear diary, so far today's been a bit of a bummer..."

"Okay, I'll slay with you." doesn't quite fit into the context of two guys guarding a museum overnight.

"When that hot cleaver tongue licked the outer shell of his ear..."

I know what you meant, dear author. But in the middle of an otherwise steamy make-out scene, a typo like this brings up an entirely different and not-really-wanted mental image.

Long time lurker now de-lurking... Does anyone have any screencaps of the red moon (with and without Muraki standing beneath it looking menacing? I'm tinkering with ideas for a poster for a fanfic and I could use a few... Thanks in advance!

Maybe it's just a personal thing, but reading "hormones" in a summary makes me skip over it rather like I was playing hopscotch. Unless somehow it doesn't just sound like you're using it in place of...

Pheromones. Double the fleeing speed if the word pheromones is anywhere in the fic if we aren't talking furries or bestiality (in which case it would make rather much more sense, but I don't read furry-fic, or bestiality).

Why, ficcers? I know it applies to teenagers, but really, to me the use of it in the summary the way many authors do just makes the fic sound raunchy...

Also, I haven't been able to locate any new, good Sparrington. I can only reread the ones I've got for so long.../angst, wank, general asshattery

Whatever happened to fading gracefully to black whenever sex was about to happen? And no, I'm not complaining about finding smut on the internet. This is referring to a fic that I was reading, and the main characters finally admit they love each other, snuggling happens, then a two paragraph AN in the middle of the story about how the author isn't comfortable writing sex, so they're going to abstain. I understand not everyone is comfortable writing sex scenes--and really, I do appreciate it when someone who is uncomfortable writing them does abstain. There's nothing worse for me than reading an awkwardly written sex scene--different from awkward!sex, which can be very entertaining.

My problem comes down to this: when did we feel it required to write a long disclaimer in the middle of the fic to explain why there's no sex? I wasn't expecting sex when I started reading the fic. It's on FF.net, so technically there shouldn't be graphic sex in the fic. Really, I didn't need to know that you know nothing about sex and are uncomfortable writing it. So I ask again, whatever happened to just fading gracefully to black before continuing? You don't need to give a long apology about not having sex. We're okay with it, really.

I took a job in another city a good journey from my adopted hometown. My husband is still in adopted hometown so I didnt need a big apartment and I am currently living in a one room with separate kitchen and bath, 30qm.
I keep wanting to get a small pet like a hamster but being experienced with hamsters I know they are nocturnal and my last ones loved chewing their cage bars at night and running in their wheels which always seemed to squeak. In a small one room apartment hamster produced noise isnt going to allow me to get enough sleep in order to get up at 5am every weekday morning.

The point? Yesterday my coworkers and I were talking while we work. This rarely happens and I said if I could do it all over again I would have become a veterinarian. I guess this got the one lady with kids to thinking because an hour later she asked me if Id be interested in taking her guinea pigs because with two cats, two kids and her big baby of a husband she doesnt have time to care for them. She has a pair of males. Im hesitant due to possible night noise and a lot of it, and I know nothing about guinea pigs but the stories she told me made me think my possible ineptitude couldnt be worse than where they are now.

This lady has 2 little boy 5 and 7. They had 2 kittens at one point. Apparently one of the boys when they were younger strangled one of the kittens. Where was she or her husband while this was going on? No idea. But apparently the kid was too young to really know how to treat a kitten and the kitten was too small to get away from a toddler death grip. I fault the mother for not watching and being an irresponsible pet owner...read on....

She took the other to her friend and asked her to keep it until it was older. I can give her a bit of credit for that but I dont know where she got the kittens from but it sounds to me like she got them way too young. When she took this other kitten back the friend's tomcat had adopted it. Co-worker took the tom too. This little kitten had apparently been trying to nurse from him because she said the little one had sucked all the fur off the tom's belly looking for a nipple. Ive had several kittens in my life and had never seen anything like that so maybe it is common but it sounds to me like they were too young or not weaned properly.

Then she told me she originally had 3 guinea pigs and one died. She wouldnt get into the details about how it died but I got the impression it was a messy death at the hands of one of her sons. The guineas are 3 years old so the kids would have been about 2-4. This would have also from my calculations been around the same time one of them killed the kitten.

So Im thinking about possibly sacrificing my future sleep to rescue the 2 remaining ones. I told her before I commit I want to come by her place and see how big the cage is and measure it to see if I have room. Then if I did I'd take them after the holidays are over around the beginning of January.

I guess Im just flabergasted that anyone would let kids that young who dont know their strength yet and are still developing coordination handle tiny animals that are so fragile. I cant blame the kids but I do blame their mother, my coworker for not supervising them and for thinking that these animals would be okay. Or maybe she like others think animals are a living disposible toy.

They have just come home from the vet and I've been told that they will be all right. :) As for the brat who caused all this trouble, for now she is being forced to follow around my sister-in-law so that she is never out of sight. My mother will be letting them know that they need to hammer home the seriousness of what she did (I'd do it myself, but I am still very angry and if I start ranting at them, they won't take me seriously).

I swear, this was a pretty okay day before all this happened. And it could have been fucking prevented if people had been watching her! I think I'm going to go check on the kittens now. Thank you all for sharing my rage.

Folks, it's really unnecessary for two characters to declare their love every five paragraphs. Really. I'm in the middle of reading a long series, and I'm tempted to go back and count the "I love you's" but I don't have that kind of time!

And btw, Angel writers, if any of you are still out there, here's a tip about writing Lorne. Yes, Lorne uses pet names. Lots of them. However, he doesn't call a person by four or five different pet names in the course of one conversation. Honestly, he doesn't.

To paraphrase Angel: Stop calling the characters pastries!

Found this on Regretsy.com (under the Dolls category, check out the comments there), and thought I'd share the horror joy with you folks.

( childbirth doll behind cut )