Ah, a cafe owner after my own heart: Cafe's move to boot bad kids kicks up skirmish between the childless and the child-centered.

Now the title ("War on Brats")and the tage line above are, in my opinion, a little misleading. The owner isn't trying to ban kids from his store. After enduring such appaling behavior like:

Children were climbing the cafe's poles. A couple were blithely reading the newspaper while their daughter lay on the floor blocking the line for coffee. When the family whose children were running across the room to flail themselves against the display cases left after his admonishment, McCauley recalled, the restaurant erupted in applause.

So the owner puts up a sign saying simply, "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when they come to A Taste of Heaven." Not "No one under 18 allowed" or "Screaming children will be ground up and added to the espresso". It's a simply request that all patrons entering be courteous to the other patrons.


So, of course, people are whining and snarking all over the place, and there are whispers of a boycott:

"I'd love for him to be responsible for three children for the next year and see if he can control the volume of their voices every minute of the day."

No one's saying that you have to control them every minute of the day, just when you're in that one place.

"...really what they're saying is they don't welcome children, they want the child to behave like an adult."

*rereads the sign* funny, I don't see anything that says "Children not welcome" and while I'm aware that kids can be kids at times, I don't think it's asking too much for when your child is in a coffeeshop to keep the screeching down. That's not simply behaving like an adult, that's behaving like a polite human.

"I think that the mothers who allow their kids to run around and scream, that's wrong, but kids scream and there is nothing you can do about it. What are we supposed to do, not enjoy ourselves at a cafe?"

Yes! Any polite human being would remove the disturbance that's disturbing the general peace. I'm sorry that you can't "enjoy" yourself at a cafe, but that's the price you paid the minute some doctor said "It's a boy/girl" and you decided to take it home with you. Consider it a sacrifice.


Yay for this parent who's got it right:

"The litmus test for me is if they have high chairs or not," said Dehl, the woman who scooped her screaming son from his seat during brunch, as she waited out his restlessness on a sidewalk bench. "The fact that they had one high chair, and the fact that he's the only child in the restaurant is an indication that it's an adult place, and if he's going to do his toddler thing we should take him out and let him run around."

I'd rant more, but I've got to get ready for work...

Mommy throws her babies in the frezzy sea

You know, honey, it's a little too late for an abortion, don't you think?

It's a girl.

Now that this woman has served her holy purpose, could they finally give her peace now?

Last night, I hit the Publix to grab some liquid refreshment to go with my Pad Thai when I heard some kid shrieking from the other side of the store. It kept it up for about 5 minutes (I'm talking shrieking like it was on fire!), and at about that point I was quite tempted to help the poor thing out by showing it just how being on fire would make it shriek. I grabbed my limade, hit the U-scan and scooted out of there in record time.

Jeez, people, if adults were to make that sort of racket in the middle of a grocery store, they'd be asked to leave. Makes my idea of a pacifer ball gag much more pratical. Wonder if I could get a patent...

Speaking of shrieking, I don't have to worry about that problem when I hit the Vortex again. Thank to that BS no smoking law, restuarants and bars had to choose between allowing kids or smoking. The Vortex is now a 21 and up joint. Hey, they never claimed to family friendly in the first place. Hell, I sat there reading my new On Our Backs issue with no problem, it was great! Damn shame that my 18 to 20 pals can't enjoy this place anymore, but don't blame them, blame Big Daddy Governement for stepping into private business' business. I wonder what other establishments choose smoke over kids? They'd get my patronage, that's for sure...I'd much rather endure smoke than "I waannnt chick'n fingers!!!!"

Duggars Expecting 16th Child

Okay, so I remember commenting on this tale on my LJ some time ago (I think my reaction was "my pussy hurts just from looking at that")...but now...I'm nearly speechless.

Nearly.

I hope that some other entity other than the government is paying these wackos to breed, for fuck's sake, like whatever cult they belong to.

What's more appaling is that this chick got some Young Mother Award from the state. WHAT FOR? All this bitch is doing is getting knocked up. I mean, hell, if all those kids had different daddies, they'd be condemming her left and right. If anyone deserves a damn Young Mother Award from a state, let's try a young mother who's actually doing something else besides replicating, like making a better life for her and her young in some way. How about a couple who ADOPTS 16 kids who are already on this planet?

I don't get it...honestly. We expect good pet owners to spay and nueter their pets in order to keep them from having litters, but heaven forbid we suggest our fellow humans to do the same. We laugh at the crazy cat lady with 16 felines, why do we rejoice when people hoard 16 replicants? Why do we celabrate shit like this? It's not like getting knocked up or gestating takes much brainpower (see my previous post about the human incubator) or, in the case of not difficult pregnacies, effort. A healthy live birth is not a fucking miracle. Dogs, cats, monkeys and various other mammals give live birth all the time.

And apparently, this might not be the last one. "We'll take as many as our Invisible Daddy Figure gives us."

Dear doG, I'm hoping that her uterus makes a run for it when this one is born.

Paternal Instinct

Makes me giggle...

"Og make more Ogs! Og powerful!"

Og did nothing else beside come...no wonder he feels so damn powerful!

Woman kept alive in hopes of saving baby

damn...this just creeps me the fuck out, being used as a human incubator for a kid that might not even survive the experience (and if it does-there's a chance that the cancer could move into the uterus-what kind of life will if have as a very premie baby, with all its assorted health risks?).

Dude, let her go...if that kid's meant to live, it will. Try concentrating on the son you do have.

*extended shudder*

Yeah, so I actually have a normal day at overwork today (getting ready for the big day tommorrow and stuff)and I get on the train and proceed to have a moment so surreal that even after telling myself that I wouldn't touch the booze today(1), here I sit with the Captain at my elbow.

Firstly, for this tale, you need the map of the Marta rail system here. I started off at the East Point station on the South line. I get on the train, find a single seat, sit and prompt (as is my habit) drop off to sleep...

..only to be awakened by the sound of "LAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAAAAAALAAAAAAAAAA!" at the Oakland City station. My eyes popped open and no more than two seats away is a small child of about 3 "singing" on her daddy's lap. If by "singing" I mean "making a toneless noise at the top of her lungs" She would "sing" until she ran of out breath, take a breath, and contiune. I glance at the mother (sitting next to the daddy) and she gives me a look that says someting like "Is this adorable?" or "Every utterance from my child is wonderful, isn't it?".

I return with a look that said "I would love nothing more than to open an emergency door and dropkick Little Tina Tuneless onto the tracks before personally sterlizing you and Duhdie with a shrimp fork." I've had a long day at overwork, and that wasn't helping.

With a smile only blessed by the braindead, Mommie addresses her child, "That's enough, you're starting to annoy people, honey" in that "I don't really mean it, but it will stop the scary dred lady from glaring daggers at me" tone of voice. As expected, the kid doesn't comply and continues seranading the car.

Then the Herbalife Worldwide Conference contingent from some Eastern European Country that I can't remember (it started with a K and ended in -stan) get on the train at Five Points. I shit you not. Blue and yellow jackets with their country name on the back, I "Heart" Herbalife buttons, "Love Weight Now, Ask me How" buttons in both English and some Slavic script...it was interesting. It stopped beging interesting when they surround the little darling and encouraged it to keep squalling by "singing" along and applauding when it caught its breath.

Now at this point I'm sure you're wondering "jaila, why didn't you talk to the parents or change cars?" I have no good reason at all. Frankly, I'm aware that some parents get touchy when others point out the lack of manners in their own spawn, and I really wasn't up for the chance. I also was feeling a bit childish myself, in that "I was here first, fuckers!" kind of way--hey, I'd been on my fucking feet all day. Besides, I was hoping like mad that they would all get off at earlier stop than me. So, I grimaced and bore it.

Well, after I pulled out my CD player and blasted Static X so loud that people started looking at me. (yep, childish)

Luckily, the whole crew disappated at the Lindbergh Station, leaving me with about 10 minute of trying to nap time until I got to my home stop of Brookhaven. Straight onto the next bus, straight home, straight to the bottle.


(1) after a margarita on Monday, plum wine and sprite on Tuesday, and Guniness yesterday...I thought I was over doing it a bit.

You know, it's so hard to be a good example. It really is. Whenever the question of kids (do you have them?/do you want them?) pops up, I get shock most of the time when I say "no" and "never". It's as if they asker as never met anyone who has decided that breeding isn't for them, before giving birth, you know? So I get some really dumb/obnoxious responses from "Oh you'll change your mind" to "When you find the right man, you will" to "Oh, grow up", all given in that condesending tone of voice that makes me want to punch them in the crotch.

For your information, I've actually put some thought into this decision, much more thought than some twit who says some shit like "I'm gonna name my first baby Lavender!" or "I want to have my own football team!". They never think about reality-What if you have a boy? and How exactly do you intend on supporting so many screamlings(1)? I mean, few people actually question the wisdom of deciding to breed, but look at you as if you're crazy when you say, "Look, I'm not the mothering type." or "I'm looking into getting myself sterlized." Especially if you just happen to have a uterus, because if you've been born with one of those, you simply must use it.

I'm not the mothering type. I've never been the mothering type. I've had experience with the shitwork of caring for kids (and I don't just mean babysitting once or twice a week, that's nothing. Name sopething other than pregnacy, giving birth and breastfeeding and I'll bet you I've done it-Doctor's visits, colic, toliet training...) and I want none of it in my life. I'm selfish, and am not willing share my space, my money, my time or my love with anyone who doesn't prove their worth (and frankly, anything that causes me that much of an annoyace before it's arrival in the world ain't proving it). On top of that, I find most kids to be mildly annoying at best and utterly obnoxious at worst.

In other words, I'm not mean for them. I'm sure you deal with that (2).

(1) and anyone answering "god will provide" gets an extra punch in the head. How about a real answer?

(2) why, yes this did come up at work yesterday...

Just looking at the picture makes my cunt hurt...

"How many kids do you have again?"

Just in case you've seen it before (and I'm feeling so very, very random today):

How to Raise a Juvinile Delinquent

I agree with most of them, except the "Never give him any spiritual training". It is very possible to teach morals without sticking to any particular myth.

So, in my apartment-bound boredom, I did some random searching and found this message board

Ready for a baby, but my partner isn't

First of all,these chicks scare me...."I have 2 and want #3 so bad it hurts"..."I've caught the 'baby bug'!"..."I think the reality of the situation is that the baby bug knows no logic"...."I want a baby, and my partner doesn't. Doesn't he understand how badly I want one?"

Second of all, I hope like hell this baby bug thing isn't contagious...or will hit me when I'm older, or something....

*looks down at her uterus* "Don't even think about it, bitch! No vacancies!"

Ladies and gentleman of my friends list! For once I will be highlighting hatchling rasing that actually works:

Texas Dad Sells Kids' Nintendo DS

This dad perchased three of the gaming systems (and a game for each) for his three boys. The boys wouldn't behave, and bam! all three systems are (were?) on Ebay.

The best quote of all "Teaching accountability is NEVER EVER EVER wrong." Damn Right.

If he actually went through with it, this guy gets my vote for Breeder of the Year. No wait, I think this actually counts him as a Parent, so he is Kiki's Parent of the Year!

"A note to depressed women everywhere: Having children will not cure depression. It will not make you happy when you are, in fact, inherently unhappy. Your children are not guaranteed to love you back, and will tell you multiple times over the course of their lives that they hate you, and when they're grown up they'll avoid your phone calls.

Try Prozac. It's cheaper and it won't wet the bed. "

Thank you, Brats! Rant Page, I'll keep that in mind...

So, 4 more years of the Idiot, and a pretty good shot at a really conservative Supreme Court.

Call me Ms. Panicky, but I fear for my uterus, or rather, being reduced to what my uterus is supposed to do. I overheard a conversation on the bus today between two older women about "tragedy" of abortion and how they hope that Dubya will "set things right". I didn't say anything to then, but I held in my thoughts until ( now )


*sigh* i think i've calmed down enough...but I'm sure as hell gonna look into sterlization and soon

Apparently I'm in a child-hating mood:

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

www.zazoo.be

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