There's a rather disturbing ad campain out by UNICEF (you know, kids going around collecting money for less fortunate kids rather than candy on Samhain?) that's being aired in Belgium.

Usually they have show real life images of kids playing, but this year, UNICEF wanted to shock people...

They used...the Smurfs! Ladies and germs, I present to you, UNICEF bombs Smurfs!

I take that back, it's not disturbing. It's hilarious (see subject line). What a great fucking idea...the Snorks should be next! Anybody else got sick of that happy, happy joy shit they got fed in the early 80s?

When: about 15 minutes ago

Where: the kitchen

What: I just finished making a bit of garlicky guac for dinner and left it on the counter to grab some chips when something small and brown flashed by out of the corner of my eye. I looked in that direction just to see Simon (fountainheadsam's cat) leaping onto said counter.

Crash! Blorp!

Green gunk on the counter, floor and trashcan. I managed to check the cat for any splatter and send him on his way (I don't think he would have enjoyed the stuff had he licked it off a paw) before nearly laughing (damn that was funny) and crying (wah! my dinner!) at the same time.

Don't worry, enough stayed on the saucer to make a decent dinner...

Stolen from a email from my friend Green. The subject was the lessons learned from The Little Mermaid:

See now, I got a whole different set of lessons from the (Disney) Little
mermaid:
Appreciation of the natural gifts you have over those which are the
result of technology or sorcery.
Appropriate mistrust of heavily made up, manic octpus women.
When the worm-things that live in somebodys carpet motion for you to go
back before it's too late, believe them.
Eels are not cuddly.
You never have to worry about headlights when your top is made of shells.
Listen to your father, especally if he has access to godlike power.
If you have crabs and they are smarter than you are, listen to them.
If you have godlike power do not give it to scary, manic, heavily made
up octopus women who hate you.
Disney should not make sympathetic characters who resemble a sushi plate.
If you are a hansome prince, be _very_ sure you don't accidentally mary
an evil manic heavily camoflauged octopus chick.

Pardon me while I die laughing. I so need to read that...

So, I was lurking on the Avenue Q website when I glanced up this story about the cast doing a mock presidential debate way back before the elections as part of a promotion for the show. Rob was the moderator, and it involved the funniest damn parody of "If you were gay" as sung between puppet Kerry and puppet Bush:

Kerry: If you were gay
that'd be okay.
The USA
would like you anyway
cause george, you see
if it were me
I would feel free to say
that I was gay
(But I'm not gay)

Bush: But Senator Kerry, you voted against gay marriage.

Kerry: Can't a guy change his mind?
If you were queer,
I wouldn't smear.
Despite the fact that we're…
…in an election year.
But you'd be glad
and run a negative ad,
if I told you today
"Guess what? I'm gay!"
(But I'm not gay.) I'm happy
just being with you…

Bush: Let's talk about Saddam Hussein.

Kerry: So what should it matter to me
what you like to do with Dick?

Bush: You mean Dick Cheney?

Kerry: If you want to!!
If you were gay,
I'd shout "Hooray!"

Bush: I'm not listening!

Kerry: While you sashay...

Bush: Laura!!!

Kerry:...round the office like Beyonce!
You should feel free
to tell the G.O.P.
That instead of Laura Bush
you want some young guy's tush,
then you could proudly say,
"Hey,
I'm sexier than JFK,
and I'm gay!"

Bush: I'm not gay!!!!

Kerry: If you WERE gay.

*************

It's funnier if you sing it outloud....

"Dude, you closelined a toddler"
-Wes, after I described what happened during my break...


"So, satisfied with your immediate past, are you?"
"very.."
-zamiel and myself on AIM

"I love your eyebrows..."
-Essence, the stripper guy who gave me his (nude!) card while I was on shift at Discovery

"You could be a danceer"
-Essence again, after poking me in one of the many reasons why I can't be a dancer; my tummy

"Rojaila, I appreciate you coming in today, while you're so sick. Thank you for working so hard..."blah blah blah
*interrupt with hand on shoulder*"I only do it because you pay me to"
"Thanks the only reason you need, honey"
-Patrick, one of my managers, and myself


I should go to bed, but I won't...

"A note to depressed women everywhere: Having children will not cure depression. It will not make you happy when you are, in fact, inherently unhappy. Your children are not guaranteed to love you back, and will tell you multiple times over the course of their lives that they hate you, and when they're grown up they'll avoid your phone calls.

Try Prozac. It's cheaper and it won't wet the bed. "

Thank you, Brats! Rant Page, I'll keep that in mind...

..so, i've found the cure for tonight's pissy mood that didn't involve crying or sex...

it came in a compact, AMV format

the anime: Gravitation
the song: The Original Hamster Dance Song...

I'll be giggling about this for days, I swear...

Don't get sick or hurt or otherwise unable to work!

because:

(cue Dad from Tokyo Breakfast voice)
If Nii-ga get sick, nii-ga can't work
If nii-ga can't work, nii-ga make no money
If nii-ga make no money, nii-ga can't pay debts
If nii-ga can't pay debts, then nii-ga stupid useless bum!!

(end voice)

repeat every morning until Feburary, or whenever it gets warm again.

Apparently I'm in a child-hating mood:

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room.

But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet when he gets to the poisons."

To niobecyane over AIM:

"stupid hurricanes...the only one I want to see again comes in a cup from New Orleans!"

and I mean it, too..